Speedy's Gettin Nuttin For Christmas

Santa checked his list, not once, but twice,
He found you have been naughty, not nice,
Since coal is expensive, here is the scoop -
He's filled your stocking with snowman poop!
Peanut's Gettin' Nuttin' For Christmas

Peanut's Gettin' Nuttin' For Christmas

I got some spit on Chuckie's head;
Somebody snitched on me.
I hid a dead bug in Nikki's bed;
Somebody snitched on me.
I spilled some dog food on Mommy's rug;
Nikki watched as I ate a bug;
Found some gum and a juicy slug;
Somebody snitched on me.

Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad.
I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I put a snack on my mommy's chair
Somebody snitched on me.
I got some poop in Nikki's hair
Somebody snitched on me.
I did a dance in Mommy's plants
Climbed on the couch and tore Chuckie's pants
Spilled the sugar bowl and it got ants
Somebody snitched on me.

O, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad.
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I stole Nikki's sandwich and then tried to hide
Somebody snitched on me.
I rolled in some poop when I was outside
I got a hanger-on'er and did the puppy slide
Somebody snitched on me.

I got Chuck's socks when he went to bed
I tripped my mom and she hit her head.
Somebody snitched on me.
I found Nikki's crayons, they tasted like jewels
I never go to bed. I don't follow the rules
Somebody snitched on me.

I won't be seeing Santa Claus;
Somebody snitched on me.
He won't come visit me because
Somebody snitched on me.
Next year I'll be going straight;
Next year I'll be good, just wait
I'd start now, but it's too late;
Somebody snitched on me.

So you better be good whatever you do
'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you,
You'll get nuttin' for Christmas.

A Little Bit About Peanut
Poor Peanut! Doesn't She look so so sad? It's almost pathetic!
There is no-way anyone can say just a little bit about Peanut!
Check out "Peanut's Place" to find out all about her.

I'll get something you'll see...

Speedy's Holiday Bear

<-- Peanut Speedy -->

Jingle Dog

Stomping thru the snow,
Just me and my Doggie.
O're the fields we go,
Just so she will pee.
Darkness all around,
We know she won't obey.
Her nose is anchored to the ground,
And sniffing all the way. Hey!

Midnight Run, where's the sun?
Can't we make this quick?
When I think we're almost done,
She finds something to lick. ICK!
Midnight Run, ain't this fun?
Snow is glistening bright.
When she turns and looks at me,
Her beard is snowy white.

Can't suppress a yawn,
When she finally picks a spot.
On my neighbor's lawn,
She turns and takes a squat.
She's not quite done it's clear,
Impatience makes me sigh,
When my Doggie disappears,
In a snow drift two feet high. Ohhhhhhh.......

Here is a cute lil gag gift for the someone who has been
naughty, not so nice. (Peanut excluded of course *g*)

Fill a baggie with miniature marshmallows,
and attach the following on a card or label:

Santa checked his list, not once, but twice,
He found you have been naughty, not nice,
Since coal is expensive, here is the scoop -
He's filled your stocking with snowman poop!

Christmas Etiquette For Dogs

Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.

They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.

Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.

They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know: Don't pee on the tree - don't drink water in the container that holds the tree. Mind your tail when you are near the tree-if there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open - don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree.

Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part: Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans - don't eat off the buffet table - beg for goodies subtly - be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa - don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach.

Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important: Observe all the rules for trees that may be in other people's houses. Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house - tolerate children - turn on your charm big time.

A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. DON'T BITE HIM!!

Author Unknown

Speedy was made especially for me by
Vikimouse and is not available for download!

~ Kitty Roach ~ A Touch of Country ~